Unusual (Korean language ~ English) Konglish "False Friend"

False friends are pairs of words or phrases in two languages or dialects (or letters in two alphabets) that look or sound similar, but differ significantly in meaning.

Normally you get false friend is related languages - like English and European, My favourite example is Pregnant in spanish, which is - embarazada... spanish learners of English can be confused when being told not to be embarrassed to stand up in class... etc

However, today the weather is much colder so I wore my Audi S-Line jacket... on arriving at work my chinese colleague was intrigued as to why my jacket had S-Line written on it.

As all body and image conscious Koreans know - S-line refers to the 'ideal' voluptuous body shape....

I felt uncomfortable all day with my jacket on the back of my chair advertising my 'S-Line'.

Amazing Things #16 Chest manager

Amazing Things #16 - Double U.S. Chest Exercise device 

The text reads something along the lines of:
" If you feel a shrinking feeling that it is getting small with an investment of 20 mins a day you can regain confidence..."

They also offer discount on breast firming gel...

Seoul Ambition: Amazing things # 14 Fox face patch

Seoul Ambition: Amazing things # 14 Fox face patch

Kara's Hara has obviously been using the fox line patches...

An example of v-line fox face...

Bag snatching... mugged Seoul Subway style!

It happened on the subway this morning, on the way to work...

But don't panic, I haven't tempted fate with my previous post

 about how safe I feel in Korea... this was Seoul Subway style!

As the doors opened at a station about 1/2 way through my journey and people started to leave the carriage, I felt a tugging on my shoulder, I suddenly realised that my (must have) 'Man bag' was now at full strap length away from me, entwined amongst the throng in their rush to depart the train, I tugged once, resistance I felt like a salmon fisherman with the days first catch, I NEEDED to reel in this catch!

The drama was over in a few seconds as my prize came hurtling back to me as the crowd erupted from the bottle neck and sprayed out onto the platform.

 -  Okay, so this is way over the top and not really an event worth writing a post about... however it provides me with an opportunity to write about subway travel in Korea and the way people behave without having to start with a complaint (see - method in the madness)

I remember my first experience during a visit to Seoul in 2002, there were fewer foreigners then and particularly children were unused to seeing foreigners, no one looked you in the eye (I remember this was a big thing in Korean guide books - "Don't try to make eye contact!") and people generally stayed out of your way... except in 2 scenarios -
'In RUSH HOUR' or 'Are AJUMMA' (What is an Ajumma? [1] Urban dictionary,[2] Wikipedia).

Rush hour in Seoul is something I avoid if I can - I am lucky enough to live and work at the far end of the Bundang line, where things are much quieter. But I have been in the Rush hour commute enough times to have experienced it in all its Pushing and toe stamping glory.

 When you are still in shock at the amount of people who just squeezed into the already full carriage some one will  surge forward with arms outstretched and actually push everyone further into the carriage... and more people get on! A friend told me that they were "push-men" and that was their job, but I have never worked out if that is an actual paid job or just a role that experienced commuters who temporarily take up the position and get from A to B quicker as their payment.

The second scenario was 'Are AJUMMA' - if you clicked the links above you know already know tat this is Korea's 3rd gender. If you didn't, then you are probably just as confused, and I am disappointed in you and you should stop being so lazy and go and click on them now...

So Ajumma are very scary, I have seen two elderly Ajumma enter the carriage from opposite ends simultaneously spot an empty seat (they have evolved to have extra senses too) glance once at each other before breaking into a sprint towards the empty seat pushing everyone out of their way in a fight almost to the death for that empty seat, in this instance the loser laughed at her failure and procede to the next carriage.

Ruthless, determined, aggressive, fearless the Ajumma will spend their time between prowling the subway for empty seats, looking for High school girls to chastise for daring to hold hands or exhibit any form of public affection, or the length of a their skirt, for someone to comment about the extra weight they are carrying, even though they themselves maybe less than perfect.  They will also demand your age, nationality (if you look foreign) occupation,  and other personal pieces of information with out an introduction, if you don't answer they will state their own assumptions.

I have been pushed, elbowed, body slammed with backpacks, poked in the back... I could go on!

I constantly have to make excuses to myself, that in Korea this is not considered rude... but I don't think there is any truth in it... it is rude... but this is Korea and after a while in your own albeit more subtle and hopefully more polite way you do as they do and keep your head down and get through the commute!

2 days 1 night - Company Workshop Part 3

2 days 1 night - Company Workshop Part 3: 

My new name, The Cryptic, The baseball star, Crayon Pop, and This is a normal working day you must drink all night!

I have decided to blog about my first company workshop / trip in several posts - here is part 3

After Beating the queue at the urinals after burst at the seams on the bus, it was time to hear what the managers had to say... Being over an hour late I was pretty hungry amplified by the fact that I had little understanding about what was being said, but the company ambition and current slogans were hammered into us by a succession of company CEO's.  Our company appears to have more managers than staff - about 5 men hold the position of CEO, the number of managers became more apparent towards the end of the evening..

Oh, by the way I have a new name, thanks to the HR department and I appear to have been demoted from senior engineer to just worker.

Roberto Kuli

 Here is my workshop name tag showing my name written as 로버트오 - Roberto  클리 - kuli.

After the managers speeches it was time for lunch (Finally) then a presentation from a guest star.  He is a baseball player and apparently quite famous, although I have no idea who he is (sorry).

He spoke for 1hr 30 mins - there were a few laughs from the crowd but I got the impression it was a long 1hr 30 mins for even the biggest rounders fan, sorry I meant baseball. - Korean people can't get to grips with the fact that we don't have baseball in the UK and that I know absolutely nothing about it. although I do want to go to a game, to see what the fuss is all about.

It was then time for the cryptic challenge, a kind of treasure hunt, where we had to complete some tasks to get a letter to put in to a code locked tube, so that we could reveal the secret locked inside. 

Here are some pictures of some of the activities

In part 3 I will blog about the evenings entertainment...

People throw out the nicest things!

I have said many times that I feel Korea is a nice safe country as there is little petty or violent crime; such as muggings, burglaries, and theft.. and far less if not NO - little shits on the street corners, drunk or stoned (Presumable they are all in Hagwons (academies) giving foreign teachers a hard time)... I acknowledge that I am lucky enough to live in a pretty nice area, that I am probably being a bit naive, but I really think it is true! -

Example 1: I have seen a man lean his carbon fibre racing bike outside a shop at the train station, leave his iPhone mounted on the handlebar cradle, go into the shop buy a drink come out and it was still there!

Example 2: Everyone leaves their sat nav and black box camera's on the windscreen mount, in full view of everyone... all the time!!!

 I have even seen people leave their car window open overnight with their sat nav and black box camera on the windscreen mount, in full view of everyone - I guess this is Example 3!

I think people just don't buy or want second hand / stolen things - however this is not the point of this post - but I think it sets a good pretext -  My point, today, is as the title suggests, people throw out the nicest things... and also it's about books!

Korean mothers, as everyone who has been to Korea knows, value their children's education almost as much as their lives - some maybe more if you consider the pressure placed on children to study hard which has been cited as a reason for high rates of child suicide (see wikipedia,Voices of youth, Beyond Hallyu (about 1/2 way down the page) for some examples) Again, I seem to have gone off on a tangent...  To provide their children with the opportunities and tools to 'be smart' Koreans spend a lot of money on books I didn't find a quotable source for this - but go to any Korean apartment, where they have young kids and you will see books, lots of books - A friend of ours, recently spent 4,000,000 won* on a collection of storybooks for their 6 month old baby!

*4 Million Won is a good monthly wage, about 2,300 British Pounds or 3,800 US Dollars

Anyway, Last night I went outside the apartment, to throw away the weekly trash and recycling and there on the wall next to the polystyrene boxes was an immaculate (seriously they looked almost new) set of about 30 childrens books about famous world and Korean historical figures from Lincoln to 이이 and I would bet money that some of them have never had a page turned let alone been read.

I am not ashamed to say that this impressive and no doubt expensive selection of childrens books, now resides in my spare room awaiting a quick dusting and shelving... (I am glad it wasn't raining yesterday). When I brought them through the door and showed Harvey he started jumping around the room with excitement!

I know that my kids and I will enjoy these books for many years - They should see my kids through elementary school (at least) and I plan on including reading them in my Korean studies!

Whoever threw them out... Thank you!

2 days 1 night - Company Workshop Part 2

2 days 1 night - Company Workshop Part 2: The Bus trip!

I have decided to blog about first company workshop / trip in several posts - here is part 2

I  arrived at work at around 8:30 to make sure I had enough time to find the right bus and be ready for the highlight (repeatedly) departure time of 8:50am.

As we waited for the bus I soon realised that this was 8:50am Korean time which means anytime after 8:50... as 9:40 came and went I wondered what was going on - I later found out that a total of 5 people had not shown up for the buses, of which there were a total of 9.  As the trip was mandatory I think some people were either close to death or had decided to drive...

The bus was definitely Korean style, complete with a quiz, Bingo, self introductions and Karaoke, No I didn't sing - although I did win a prize for my 자기 소개 (self introduction). Which went like this:

내 이름은 로버트 오클리입니다
나는 GPC 팀입니다    [sic]*
만나서 반가워요

Not grammatically correct and hardly eloquent - but I guess as a foreigner, you get points for trying!

The translation is:

My name is Robert Oakley
I am GPC Team [sic]*
Nice to meet you
 -  ( I am!!! - I work in the.. (>_;) Oh well there is always next time to make a first impression!)

- Everyone was apparently touched by the fact that I spoke in Korean The person who followed me made some comment about me speaking Korean but I couldn't quite catch what he said - The prize was a child sized mirror and comb!!! - My daughter definitely appreciated it more than me.

An hour late departing and saw us arrive very late for the senior management presentation and opening ceremony (Which then resulted in a later than planned lunch, at the delightful Oak Valley resort  (오크밸리 리조트).

Our late arrival at the resort and the result of several cups of coffee before departure I found myself DESPERATE to use the men's room and as the bus pulled into the car park I an one of my colleagues were off the bus despite the bus leader and MC trying to give some arrival instructions - he must of seen the desperation in my face and allowed me to pass.  I rushed to the resort facilities and while taking care of my business a queue formed behind me of 9 bus loads of men (Ok there are a lot of women at the company too, but you get the point)!


I will post part 3 shortly.

Amazing Things # 15 - Smart Pad

Amazing Things # 15 - Smart Pad

This is the smartpad, which state it aids the correct posture while sat at a desk, but based on my experience in Korea as a teacher, I think it would be excellent to support students as they sleep at their desks... come to think of it, this would be useful in the office too... ;)

2 days 1 night - Company Workshop

Tomorrow our company has its annual workshop / training / team building / talent show / staff party / forced overtime - 2 day event. It may be all, one or none of those things. And before you pass judgement on my language skills, no one else seems to know either! (even those that attended last year, the year before, and the year before that).

The most concrete pieces of information I have about last year and this years event is that this year the T-shirt is much better (photo to follow: compare last years wast corporate colours red and blue in some weird combination that no one liked) and that last year they provided breakfast and this year, they won't!

A few weeks ago we had to submit our t-shirt size and choose our preferred day events from uninspiring and seemingly random list; coffee, archery, music, and psychology - I chose coffee and archery!

Today we got the bus allocation, room allocation and team allocation lists.

All teams and departments have been separated (except 팀장 (team leader) has been placed with her husband - fluke?), so while no doubt someone will speak English, no one who has English as a job is in my group/bus/room... further more the rooms have been given contact/lead person and possibly key responsibility and this role as perhaps by virtue of random (or scientific) selection or just an ill conceived plan - been given to me, with my phone number as a contact... so Boys if you want to know where I am with the room key "영어로 말해요, 나는 한국어 몰라요!"

So, if I survive the coffee (Bean roasting - Apparently!), Archery, bus trip and room sharing I shall be able to tell you what a Korean company 2 day 1 night trip, is like ( I am hoping nothing like the Bus karaoke, forced Korean Night club and forced alcohol (I don't mind the alcohol (You don't need to force me) but was uncomfortable to watch the over 60's sipping unwanted glasses of beer) oh last years teachers training trip!

Oh I didn't mention the talent show - our proposal of Crayon pop dance routine was (thankfully) rejected and no one wanted to do anything except one person and their husband (who doesn't work here) who will now do a Jayzee (?) performance...

Soraksan - falling at the falls in fall!

Seoraksan National Park, Sokcho-si, Gangwon-do is beautiful anytime of the year but autumn is especially wonderful.

My parents had been before, and wanted to go back to see the turning of the Autumn colour and to stay again and the wonderfully located Kensington hotel.

However, this years trip was unexpectedly cut short, My mum fell whilst relaxing on a rock at a waterfall and broke her ankle in 3 places, there was quite an adventure following the accident to get back to Gyeonggi-do and to get some treatment... 12 hours to get back, 3 hospitals, 3 days wait for the operation and we are now looking at 2 weeks recovery and possibly 5 days longer in hospital than their expected time  remaining in Korea.

The operation (on Monday) seems to have been successful and physio has started.

Korean hospital are very different from those in the west,although the medical care and procedures are the same, buildings, methods and expectations are different...

One example is that nurses and medical staff will do the Medical care, relatives are supposed to take care of all other types of care, such as helping the patient to the bathroom, getting to the treatment rooms etc.

Buildings can be different, we first arrived at the SNU hospital in Bundang, the ER was much the same as anywhere in the world; busy, noisy, not enough beds, not enough doctors - although I can't say I have ever seen a dead body (covered) being pushed past a room full of people awaiting treatment, before.

The Suji Ho Hospital is quite different, a smaller specialist (bone / joint) hospital in a korean style square concrete retail building that houses the usual mix of car parking, pharmacy, restaurants, coffee shops and other mysterious outlets on floors B3 to 3 and the hospital wards, administration, reception, treatment, x-ray and scanning, operating theatres and a roof garden floors 4 to 7. I also saw a wonderfully grammatically incorrect sign warn patients preparing to undergo an MRI scan that they "...should be aware of the metallic in your pants".

Various rooms are available V.I.P., private room, 3 patient room, 5 patient room and as many patients as we can fit beds in rooms at a nightly cost of between 30,000 ~ 150,000 Won.  The patients are equally broad in their variety... 박, 성경 an elderly but famous actor, elderly men and women, middle aged men and women, foreign Asian and my parents adding to the mix and providing a no doubt unusual white foreign representation.

All hospitals and treatment in Korea is private and has to be paid for before being discharged.

I am happy to say that although uncomfortable, the patient is recovering well...

Amazing things # 14 Fox face patch

Amazing things # 14 Fox line face slimming patch

No idea how this works, but presumably it destroys the fat from under the skin...  Sounds scary stuff, but if you want a fox face this will help ...

Father and Childs trip

As you probably know, if you follow my facebook, I went on a father and child trip with Harvey. It is a program offered at my son's kindergarten to address the problem that most Korean fathers have with spending time with their children. 

We went to a forest / recreation park in Hongcheon, Gangwon-do. it was a fun and interesting day!

One thing made me sad - they had  quiz on the bus for dads and kids won some bubbles... But, I couldn't understand any of the questions, I could tell Harvey was disappointed, I asked him to translate, the question was "What is the sweetest Ramyen?" - I have no idea - Harvey gave me the answer so even though I didn't understand I raised my hand and everyone looked at me, it was the wrong answer...  Harvey didn't say anything until last night when we got home, he nearly cried and said "I wanted to get some bubbles, but daddy couldn't win them for me!" - 

We made a printed cloth using flowers we picked from the wild flower garden, folding them in a cloth and hitting them with a hammer - It was great - even the stalks were printed to the cloth.

Here is Harvey holding our design!

We also learnt about trees and even tasted some leaves that had a citrus taste.

and we found some fresh water shrimp in a stream - they look like little lobsters...

It was a great day out with my son!

Seongnam City Multicultural Families Walk-a-thon!

On Sunday I attended an event for multicultural families, run by Seongnam City Council.

The event featured around 40 stalls from churches and community groups representing various migrant communities many of which provided food and refreshments representative of their cultures.

Seongnam city provide a full day of entertainment with musicians from Africa, South America and (of course) South Korea.

There were activities and competitions for kids (and fathers (if their children were persuasive enough) - Yes I danced on stage and received a prize)

The day culminated in a walk-a-thon, a raffle (prizes included - Ipad mini's, Bluetooth Audio Speaker systems, and about 6 bicycles; one which was won by an overjoyed woman who must have been around 70 and a fantastic firework display which although far less grand, made up for missing the  Seoul international firework display on Saturday!

here are some pictures of this wonderful day out provided by Seongnam city...